El Fon Blog

It’s today. Let’s go see if Fon forgot again, like they did last year.

Ok, this is getting out of hand. This guy says “Hello, I am a new to Fon, so I went to Fon, and ordered a Fon, and I have a problem with my Fon, I could not register my Fon and though I see other Fons on the Fon Map, can my Fon do this? Could one of you Fons help me? Fon, fon, fon, fon, FOOOOOOOON!!”

Please don’t drive us crazy! It is not an all-purpose syllable like “smurf.” Here is a quick course in Fon Vocabulary so that we all sound a lot more smarterer (put your mouse over the pictures):

This is Fon:                              This is La Fonera:

These are Foneros:

Aliens are registered, paying guests of what we call the Fon Wifi Network. Those who use the anonymous, free 15 minute trial wifi sessions do not have a name AFAIK. If they never pay for their wifi, then they may be called Leeches.

There is no such thing as “A FON” or “Fons”. Well, unless you mean these:

A Fawn:                                  The “Fonz:”

Lastly, “Fon” is pronounced “phone”, and not “fawn.” Fon was conceived as a network of wifi hotspots for the purpose of connecting independant wifi-voip handsets. These could make cheap teleFON calls and undercut the exhorbitant rates of the monopolistic cellular telcos. Wifi for laptops was considered only as a side benefit, since there were allready plenty of wifi hotspots two years ago. Fon hotspots would be different because they would be tweaked for Voice Over Internet Protocol and have their own method of authenticating members of the Fon Network.

But something went wrong, because by Launching Day, Fon had a different business plan. Perhaps they wanted exclusivity with a major VOIP provider, but could not find a partner, perhaps they could not aquire necessary patents which were held by the monopolistic telcos. Fon will not discuss these matters, though interviews clearly describing their original business plan, are still recorded in blog posts.

Today, they tell the Press that “Fon” was named after the North African ethnic tribe of the same name. ?!!?!*%!!! which is 100% BS. Perhaps Fon was gagged by the courts, but there is plenty of evidence now, that they simply have a lot of trouble admitting that they’ve ever made mistakes.

Thank you for your respect and attention to this matter.

Fon’s gay little router is positioning itself for greater penetration in America’s homosexual community.

Put the kids to bed, and visit Share The Castro for more details and a selection of provocative promotional videos.

Matador Joselito’s YouTube Page

Just an ordinary lake! Move along!

Look! Watch the funny man!

Nothing to see here. Keep moving.

Haha, it’s the silly man again! Which is all you find in *official* Fon blogs this week!

Still not getting the message!

Wow, all of those light-green dots are *offline* hotspots! How can this be, when they are right there at Fon Headquarters? And it looks like a lot of homeless Aliens (orange dots) are camped out among the trees along the highway. Or is this Martin’s army of homeless Bills who provide wifi for VOIP calls throughout the city?

Please enjoy these “underground” Fon advertisements:

Matador Joselito seeks WiFi

Matador Joselito seeks Carmen

Fon will be providing access points to popular Spanish gay magazine, Zero, at Infinita 07, the next Gay Pride Parade in Chueca, the gay district of Madrid. Zero staff will be setting the hotspots up for free public access through the event date.

Fon says it would be fabulous to do this again Babe, but does not know when they will be back in town.